Happy 60th Dad

I know that cool dude with long hair and sideburns is still in there somewhere.:-)

Random randomness

• I fell down a hole in the footpath yesterday walking towards my church! I stepped on a steel cover and it gave way and my left leg ended up totally wedged in and I couldn’t get it out. Luckily a very nice guy stopped his car and another family were walking past and they pulled me out. I had to sit in the cafe at church with ice on my leg to try to reduce the swelling and I have a very impressive bruise forming. I am waiting for it to get nice and purple so I can take photos and complain to the Council. Also my heel on my boot broke. I would very much like some compensation and sometimes I wish I lived in a place I could sue.
• I have been good and cut back on sugar, while focussing on eating lots of veges and no red meat lately. I am amazed how fantastic I feel today, so I’m going to keep it up. I also think that I no longer tolerate gluten at all, as dad gave me some food with gluten in it yesterday and I had quite an upset stomach. This is not so bad as it will prevent me from cheating my diet at least.
• I went for a 22km bike ride on Friday! It was a lot of fun and I’m finding myself plotting to buy more bike equipment and a road bike when I can afford it. I enjoy it so much more than running too and it’s a great way to get out in the country side. One fantastic thing about Auckland is that it really doesn’t take long to get out of the city and enjoy some peace in the country. I drive down to my dad’s and then bike out from his place as it’s about five minutes to rolling country roads from there.
• I am fighting a sad realisation that I can no longer drink at all. You are not meant to drink for a year after concussion, so I have been gradually having a wine or two lately to see how I cope. The last two weekends I’ve had a drink on Friday night, only to be exhausted and fuzzy all weekend. It’s hard to describe but my brain definitely does NOT feel good. So I guess I have to give it up. Sigh. There is nothing quite so relaxing as a glass of wine at night once in a while so I really do feel a little sad, but the woozy head is definitely not worth it.
• My dad is going to be 60 on Thursday! Even though he acts like an old man since his accident, it hit me that he is definitely getting on. He says he still feels young though, I guess we never really do feel like we’ve grown up do we?

Frugal Friday

Well, things have been a bit quiet on the frugal front from me for a while, mainly because I’ve actually been pretty broke for the last few months thanks to a glitch with my payments and various other dramas occurring to drain my cash.

I’m finally getting my head above water again, thanks to some careful budgetting and a very nice insurance payment last week that has helped tremendously – I paid off my credit card actually! My debt clearance is starting to feel quite achievable now which is so exciting. I’m hoping by early next year that I’ll have some very good news to share with you.

So what has changed?

Well, for starters not working means that I don’t need to buy work clothes! This save so much money actually. Though I think I probably need some more track pants and the like for wearing at home as the thighs are wearing a little thin on a couple of pairs. I hate it that my thighs rub together and wear my trousers down at the seams – anyone else have that problem?

I cook at home a lot more, because I can. I know this isn’t practical for everyone, but a little organisation and planning goes a long way. I think I’m still spending too much on food though, prices have definitely gone up and eating gluten and dairy free can be more expensive. My goal this month is to be really careful about what I spend and see if I can save more money. Though, I do find the occassional treat with groceries probably saves me money as then I’m not tempted to eat out if I get bored with what I’ve been cooking. I think it’s important to still enjoy your food.

Because I’m gluten free (most of the time) and the bread you buy can be around $6 a loaf I’ve been trying not to buy bread lately and have a great flatbread recipe that I’m living on at the moment from Karina’s Kitchen which are so yummy even if you can eat gluten I’d recommend making them! They are great for filling and making a packed lunch out of as well, which is fantastic as when you stope eating normal bread you also lose the sandwhich packed lunch option (gluten free bread is pretty gross for sandwiches). I also have been making a lot of Japanese and Korean style pancakes – pancakes are great for a quick meal and pretty cheap and easy.

I also save huge amounts of money by not buying veges and meat at the supermarket. For example a cabbage cost me 99c on Monday at the local Asian grocery, but I noticed they were $3.99 at the supermarket! That is a huge saving, I just would not buy cabbage at that price actually.

I’m also very determined to be a bit healthier this month than I have been lately – I have been baking way too much and while I’ve been improving my gluten free reportoire, it’s not good to have so many sugary treats in the house.

I’ll keep you posted on this…

I’ve been doing a lot better at not using my car as well, petrol is expensive again this year (though thankfully not as horrific as last year) and so I try to keep my spending under $40 a week. I’m doing pretty good at this lately by only taking my car out once a day maximum. I’m not working, so unnecessary trips are a waste of money I think. It’s been a little cold for too much bike riding lately, but I got a lovely new cycle jacket for my birthday that is taking away the ‘too cold’ excuse quite nicely.

The main way I think I’m saving money though is that I am trying to think a lot more carefully about what I spend. I play a little game where I add up how much something would cost each week and then work out monthly and yearly how much that would cost. It definitely gets me thinking about all the silly and frivolous spending I do. Try it, it’s pretty scary to think about all the money you waste over the years that could be sitting in a savings account or be invested.

The other cool thing to happen this week, in a geeky sort of way, is that on the phone with my bank this morning they told me about a great product they have which lets you spilt your money into up to ten different accounts with names on them (like holiday fund, expenses, car etc) and you don’t pay any extra in fees. I’m going to definitely switch over and label my food and expenses, savings, holiday fund, petrol etc etc. It will be really interesting to see how much I can save that way – maybe I’ll even end up with a surplus in some of them.

I’m not perfect, but I’ve come a long way in the last couple of years, and I’m looking forward to all the extra things I’ll get to do in the future just by being a bit careful with money now.

Off to Sydney

I woke this morning to an email to say that Emirates had ridiculously cheap flights to Sydney going on sale today, which was an answer to prayer (no, seriously) as I got a whole bunch of insurance money paid (way more than I was expecting) last week and I thought that if I saw cheap flights to Sydney I might just go…. yay for getting a little spoilt once in a while!

So, I frantically booked the tickets today, checked with friends that they’ll be there (and got my credit card sorted out as it expired yesterday and they hadn’t sent the new one yet) and I’ll be off for a week at the end of the month!

I had a few reasons for wanting to go away – firstly, I’m not working and it seems a waste not to get out and enjoy my freedom for now and also a good friend has just broken up with her boyfriend and moved down, so I’d love to see her and give her a hug or two as I’m sure she’s completely broken hearted. She’s a couple of years older than me and met him in Israel on a Christian tour, but somewhere along the way he’s lost his faith and she had to make the call that it just wasn’t going to work. I think that takes huge courage for a woman in her thirties. Huge. Everyone thought they were perfect together, everyone thinks she’s making a big mistake. I think she’s made the right call, she wasn’t happy and knew it wouldn’t work long term with him, but what a hard thing to do after they were together a couple of years.

So I’m going to be living pretty tight to save some money for the trip – not that I’ll be living the high life when I’m there, but I would like to do a little shopping if I can and the Australia dollar is pretty strong at the moment which is annoying.

It’ll be interesting to see how I cope with the trip brain injury wise – I tend to do way too much when I go back to Sydney. Lots of racing around visiting people and shopping and stuff. This time round I want to be a bit more quiet, my strategy is to hopefully book a hotel in the city for a night or two, so I can have a base there and do the city type stuff easily and the rest of the time I will be in a lovely little part of Sydney staying at a friend’s house and it will be easy to get to Cronulla beach and a few other areas I haven’t explored yet. I’d like to do some trips on the ferry and maybe do the walk from Bronte to Bondi as I haven’t been to Bondi for a few years. I think that will keep me plenty busy! Also flying Emirates is going to be great as they do a full service meal for the flight and have on demand entertainment which will be very relaxing and a treat at the price I paid for the tickets . Also, I’d been thinking about getting away in NZ, but most of my ideas probably involved driving which I’m not really that great at doing for a long period of time so I think flying there and relying on the fantastic public transport is a much better option.

Go the recession and cheap deals on flights!

Don’t mess with me…

My uncle has a tank. And a very big dog.

Um, why he has a tank I’m not quite sure, but it’s pretty cool isn’t it?

That cute fella is Zumi and he was very happy for me to take him around the farm for a walk to see the animals, cars and large scale war vehicles.

My aunt and uncle are probably slightly eccentric and rich enough to indulge themselves, they have quite a selection of vintage and new cars, tons of animals and now the latest addition to the farm is an old tank. I’m not quite sure what my uncle does with it… or why he has it… I’ll have to ask him when he’s back in the country I think. Mum is out there housesitting at the moment on the farm so we took the opportunity to go for a drive and popped out for a visit and a look around this afternoon.

I also pretended to be posh in the back of a fairly new Rolls…

I loved how the doors open out that way and it was an incredibly comfortable backseat and very spacious… just perfect for a film premiere. My friend is sitting in the drivers seat wishing he could drive away I think.

I also sat on an outside seat that I swear was somewhere I used to sit and read regularly when I’d stay out there… oh 20 years ago (gosh that long???) and just as I was posing for the photo it completely collapsed under me. I couldn’t get up unassisted and have hurt my back and neck so feeling pretty sore right now. Shameful evidence to follow once I can confiscate pictures from my mother.

Marriage=Grown Up?

I just saw a post on Facebook from one old class mate to another congratulating him on his engagement and welcoming him to the world of grown ups.

This makes me angry on so many levels! Firstly, is she saying that the fifty year old woman who never married, but has lived a full and complete life is not a grown up? Secondly, she got married at the age of 23 – what on earth would she know about being single and and adult anyway. Is she assuming that single life in your thirties is the same as it was for her in her early twenties. It really, really isn’t like that I can assure you.

Even though we might not have children and a husband, a lot of single people have busy and very responsible jobs, family responsibilities with ageing parents, do community service and are generally there for our friends when they need us.

I really needed to come on here and vent about this – though I’m pleased she wrote it as it confirms the sneaking suspicions that a lot of us single people have about the smug marrieds and what they really think of us.

Another year older, another year wiser?

32 today. Hardly seems possible that a whole year has gone by since my last birthday, but I was pleased I got into the shower this time round and didn’t want to be sick all day. Last year was definitely one of the worst days after the accident, it actually feels like I haven’t had a birthday in a while as it was such a non-event this time a year ago. It was a rather quiet day mostly by myself but I did get a chinese foot massage as a treat, though it flippin hurt. I spent most of the day preparing for a dinner party tonight – my first ever grown up dinner party. Though I’m not grown up enough to have six matching dinner plates and even my wine glasses seem to be disappearing – I guess you need to get married and have a wedding list to sort out matching china and glassware?

The whole meal was gluten and dairy free (other than some chocolate and the cous cous I cooked for the rest) and I was very pleased with the results – thanks Cuisine! My collection of mags feels like it’s gathering dust sometimes, but they are fabulous recipes and they really work so it’s worth it when you’re entertaining.

I made some dips for nibbling on (not quite confident enough to do an entree as part of a meal yet) and the beetroot dip was the standout – I’m looking forward to snacking on the leftovers in the next couple of days.

Here is the fabulous pumpkin dish  - it was so simple to make and really colourful. Had something called Zhough in the dressing which is really just a spicy paste and it added quite a zing.

I made a quinoa salad as I can’t eat cous cous – the others hadn’t tried quinoa before so gave instructions on how to cook. First time making it in rice cooker too, will do again for sure!

For the meat – I made a lovely slow cooked lamb tagine (in the slow cooker, not an actual tagine), it was pretty good and very strongly flavoured with prunes and a spice mix. Will make again for sure!

Ready to dig in, good food and fantastic Merlot…

Here is the chocolate torte I made for dessert – that my friends insisted on putting candles on. I haven’t had actual birthday cake for years, but even though I made it myself (somehow it feels wrong if you have to make your own cake) it was very tasty. There is still half of it left… oh dear…

Please don’t let me get wrinkles, please don’t let me get wrinkles…

I’m not sure that wish will come true. But it was a nice evening, even if I do feel a bit wiped after all the cooking! And I did get presents that couldn’t have been more perfect for me if they’d tried – a lovely dusky pink pashmina and a CD of Salsa music – both things I have been wanting actually!

Great friends… though I’m not sure what we’d do if the wind had changed….

A girl shouldn’t have to go 40%

After a few humorous conversations in the last few days about my man adventures lately, I got thinking more about the comment my friend made to me that he put in 60% of the effort and I should have met him there. Sigh, this is why when I went to see “He’s just not that into you” I had a few reservations that it would apply to NZ culture as we tend to be a lot more reserved than Americans or practically anyone else on the planet.

You see, I’ve always gotten on pretty well with guys and in my younger days had a lot of guy ‘friends’, I was probably a bit dense and didn’t realise that guys probably wouldn’t be friends with you unless they were interested. But, we also are pretty relaxed about the guy/girl thing sometimes in NZ – we share houses, have co-ed dorms (or halls of residence) at University where you get to see young men in all there glory(sometimes a bit too much of them if you get my drift) and we tend to hang out in groups a lot as well. So it’s not surprising that confusion can result. I’ve found in church and non-church circles I am absolutely rubbish at trying to figure out if someone is interested in me and am greatly relieved that now I’m in my thirties it generally is pretty easy to tell, somehow guys finally get a backbone and pluck up the courage to… um… send a text or IM! Yeah that takes tons of courage

So my radar for those dodgy married dudes who think it’s fine to text me when they’re in Auckland on business goes off pretty quick. Thankfully I can figure out what their motive is and yes, it did happen more than once when I first moved up here.

But, in the past I’ve had some funny experiences with guys that really only with a lot of hindsight did I figure out what was going on.

Like the guy from church when I was about 28 who was really nice, but two years younger than me so I think I didn’t really consider him. He  hung out with me a bit and then suddenly announced that he had written a song for me out of the blue one night serving at church.  It sorta spooked me I think and then I didn’t see him for a few weeks and by that stage he was dating at least one other girl as he thought I wasn’t interested, I just take a while to get my head around things I think. Put up a fight dude – if your song was that good then wouldn’ t you want me to hear it? To this day I’m devastated I don’t have a copy of it – did he try to rhyme words with my name… wearin’, carin’, sharin’? Those are the only words I can think  of that sort of rhyme! Or was it much more deep and meaningful? In any case he really didn’t know me at all at the time, so I doubt he got much insight to create deep and meaningful song lyrics.

So we know about the 60/40% guy as well? The ‘he’s just not that into you’ people wouldn’t get that mentality at all would they? They’d say that if you have to go 40% he’s just not that into you. Well, it’s like nine years since I last saw him and he still wonders what would have happened if he hadn’t gone to the UK to play rugby and had stayed here. I’ll tell you what would have happened – we wouldn’t have gone out for his farewell and ended up kissing  would we… we would have continued to not get each others hints that we were dropping! And anyway, a month or so before he left I’d actually invited him over for dinner and cooked a great meal (that he still remembers) how much more can a girl do?

Looking back, I know there are other guys in my life that I’ve completely missed the cues on as well, I won’t write about them as some of them are close friends or married to friends of mine now (yes, true) so I need to respect their privacy and not wonder about what could have been with them. I’ve actually been doing a bit of soul searching about it lately and what I hope is that the man I’m meant to marry is man enough to actually chase me and make it obvious so I actually realise.

Men, men and more men

Somehow, after all my whingeing and moaning about man droughts in the last few years, the tide seems to be turning just a little in my life at the moment. Actually, there are just a few too many guys around for me to keep track of really with my brain not working at full capacity. It’s become so apparent, that I actually had my lovely surrogate mum, Linda up about it on Monday as I became suspicious that she’d been praying for me and specifically for men in my life. Guilty as charged… isn’t that sort of cool though that God will prove to you that it’s not so unusual to be 32 (well on Monday I’m 32) and single and He will provide?  I’ve been a bit loath to write too much on here about my love life (or lack thereof) but that’s sort of how this blog started out so I figure I should share a bit of what’s happening. Things with Florida are looking pretty impossible at the moment and I’ve really just given it to God. We haven’t really ended things yet it’s drifted since my trip out there (where we argued quite a lot to be honest), but given that I won’t be able (actually I’m not allowed to, it’s a strange feeling but I want the money and support so I have to agree to it) to leave the country again for quite a while I figure it’s also not worth sitting around and waiting for either. Who knows, in six months things might be different. But I do feel that at my age not at the least keeping my options open was a silly thing. You Americans probably get this way more than kiwis would, I think you have a much healthier attitude towards dating anyway. There is other stuff I could say here, but I won’t out of respect for the other party involved.

One of the hardest things for me was the realisation in April that marriage, etc etc might not be on the cards anytime soon, after I’d spent much of last year actually talking about that stuff very seriously with J. Two days before I met him I actually felt challenged to pray for a husband and ask God to provide, which was actually a huge step for me. I’d been pretty happy single up til about then, as much as that might seem strange to other Christian girls who probably pray for husbands at the age of 18. But, I’ve worked through this mostly in the last little while, firstly I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time to wallow in self-pity at all. It’s amazing how actually having a focus beyond ourselves is good for us. And secondly, I’ve had rather timely reminders that the grass isn’t always greener, in actual fact the paddock on the other side of the fence is often drought stricken and diseased and we shouldn’t be pining to jump the fence! Several close friends are going through marriage difficulties and divorces at the moment and it’s been a massive reminder to me to not be jealous. Lying awake all night waiting for your husband to come home, not being able to sleep, finding text messages from another woman on his phone of an intimate nature – give me single life any day thanks.

So where are all the men in my life? Well, I have to say there is nothing serious happening (just in case any reads this who shouldn’t read this…) but there have been more offers of dates in the last few weeks than I’ve had in a long time. I went out for a drink with a lovely guy, whom I shall call ‘hot nurse’ just cos I think it’s funny to say, and it was a lovely time with great conversation about all sorts of random things. We’re trying to meet up again after a busy few weeks, probably this weekend and I’m actually excited. Mainly because he is hot (I totally checked him out the first time I met him and was pretty pleased when he asked for my number the next day) and also because he’s really interesting. And he does go to church too, not the same denomination as I do, but it could be workable. I’ve decided that dating is such a great way to get to know more about the world and yourself as well and I think I feel really comfortable with meeting for a drink or coffee or whatever and keeping things very casual, with no talk of sex or relationships or marriage too soon.

There are other guys around as well at the moment, I briefly registered myself on a Christian dating site (an international one too) and got inundated with messages. There were a few strange ones (that’s definitely another post for another day) but some rather sweet guys too and actually a few in NZ. I think I registered on there just to see who was around, reassure myself that being single and my age for a guy is not that unusual and give me hope that good, interesting Christian men do exist. It was massively reassuring I can tell you, even just to know there are men out there that I could meet one day in real life. The only problem is with the brain injury, I found it really hard to keep track of all the emails that started piling in, so I need to actually track a few of the guys down and apologise as I know I’ve forgotten about a few.

Aside from internet dating, there have also been a few old flames making contact lately too… I’m not really sure what I think about one of them, but we did basically grow up on the same farm so I’d love to have coffee or something and catch up. I’m not really sure at all where his head is at as he’s just had a marriage break up, but I’m sure it’ll be nice to see him, cautiously. And there is a guy in England that I was friends with for years through University and neither of us had the courage to make a move until just before he went away to play rugby in the UK nine years ago. He still hints about what would have happened if he hadn’t left NZ and apparently his mum still talks about me – we’d met a few times and obviously I made a good impression (I never think mums would like me, but it seems that I do make a good impression – is it my child bearing hips or my cooking skills?). I actually asked him though, why he never made a move on me sooner – and he replied that he went 60% of the way and I should have gone 40%. Sigh, kiwi men! A girl shouldn’t have to go 40%!

So, who knows if any of these men are real options, but I have to say it’s nice to have a little attention anyway and make the most of been single while I can.

Winter trip to the beach

After a house full of Chileans (they kept multiplying, I swear) for the last month I was ready for some peace and quiet and to have a living room back last week so I thought I’d head off to the beach for a few days in front of the warm fire and solitude. Well, that plan didn’t quite work as the three Chileans also thought it would be a great idea to come along as well and that actually ended up being a fabulous thing. 

We did lots of hiking and biking and general exercise which my body is feeling now (in a good way) and I got much more of an insight into the male psyche as well as perhaps picking up a bit more Spanish along the way.

Javier and Luis playing football on the beach, boys don’t just go for a walk on the beach at dusk they have to take a football as well.

It was a beautiful, but cold evening.

That’s me waiting for the boys to walk up a hill in the bush walks we did. I am apparently a very fast walker. I think I’d rather just get the unpleasantness of walking up steep hills over and done with. And I used to live in Wellington, walking up hills is part of life there.

If there is an abandoned mine to explore, a boy will go in it. That’s Javier disappearing from site in an old gold mine – the area we were exploring was a bustling little town in the early 1900’s but is now overgrown with bush and abandoned. 

We also did the Cathedral Cove walk – the views are stunning from the top. I never get sick of going there.

After a 40 minute or so walk you get to see this. And lie on the beach and relax.

Here is the Cathedral part of Cathedral Cove. Very hard to get a decent pic of due to the bright light shining in the middle. I really do want to get another SLR. Been looking at Canon digital cameras online

It really was a lovely four days with the Chileanos, where we managed to communicate pretty well and my spanish has improved ever so slightly. I have to say that going away with people who mostly speak another language to you is not a bad thing when you’ve had a brain injury as I found I could go off into my own world and think a lot and zone out on conversation easily.  But the really strange thing is that I was dozing off on Saturday night in bed and I had Spanish sounding words going around my mind – though of course I must have been just making the words up? Or was I learning Spanish subliminally? Hmm, would that latter be nice.

My flatmate and his dad flew off to Santiago last night and he will be away for about three weeks (and the other flatmate leaves for India and Dubai for 5 weeks) so I’m going to make the most of some lovely time to myself here in the house.