Off for a month

I’m currently trying to get through my day without getting emotional, it’s weird that it probably my last day at work ever, but as nothing has been resolved it might not be as well. I know I need to just focus on the rest that I get to have in the next month and not worry about anything else, but it’s still a bit strange and it is all made worse by the thumping head I have from this head cold as well.

I had the cleaner come (all free for me) yesterday for the first time and I have to admit it was a bit strange to be telling someone what to do in my house – I blame my kiwi, egalitarian background. It just doesn’t sit that well with us to have domestic help, but I think I might just be able to get used to it. I got her to clean my filthy shower at least - it kept her busy for a while!!! Though I did run around tidying up a bit before she got there… does anyone else do this when they have a cleaner?

I seem to be adding to my list of totally dumb things that I’ve been doing since the accident (I maintain that I didn’t do such things before the brain injury and you don’t know me so you can’t argue) which is all proving that I really need a break.

I flooded my bathroom so bad on Monday as I left the tap on and the plug in and it leaked down into the kitchen through the ceiling. Oops. Luckily it’s dried up and the landlord will never know. I almost hit someone in a car park in my car on Wednesday and yesterday I decided to sit out and get some Vitamin D in the sun (yay it’s Spring!) and leaned back against the window outside that has a cat door and it broke! I’m lucky I didn’t cut myself on it – just a little bruised. 

So yes I need a holiday….

Pride comes before a fall

Teach me to go around showing off that I haven’t had a cold, flu, virus all winter. I suddenly feel a sore throat coming on now and there’s still officially a week left of winter… Meh, it feels like Spring out there today and the Magnolia trees are in full bloom so I’m still gonna maintain I didn’t get sick all winter. Hey, I gotta have something good to talk about in my life!

LBD part two

I seem to have little black dresses for Africa (um, that’s a kiwi phrase I just realised… means I have a lot) as my flatmate bought a new dress online the other day that we knew would either suit one or the other of us. It turns out it suits me so I get to have it! Using Trinny and Susannah terminology my flatmate is a goblet and I’m an hourglass which is rather funny as what looks good on me looks ridiculous on her and vice versa.

I tried the dress on last night and even though I don’t think I’ll be able to eat wearing it I like it! Now I just need to have a social life so I can make use of all these dresses…..

Knowing when to fight

I have five days only to go in my job and I can’t wait to have a rest, though somehow I’ve got to finish off a handover in only three days actually in the office and not forget to pass on all the useful information I’ve got stored in my head…. ha ha… I’m sure there is going to be a ton of stuff I forget. Let me tell you, an accident or illness can immediately expose any of your sloppy work habits (like saving things to your personal drive rather than a group drive) so be careful is my warning!

After a few conversations with people like my Osteopath I’ve found out that losing my job as the result of an accident in NZ Law is actually not very kosher and if the worst happens I’d probably win if I took them to mediation. The best case scenario might still happen – that I rest for a month and then I’m great and they won’t have found someone in that time anyway so I can come back to my role. But I suspect I won’t be fit for full time work for a wee while yet so I’m not holding much hope of that happening. The decision I’m going to have to make will be do I try to retain a good relationship with my employer and have a good reference for the future (particularly if I move to the States) or potentially have to assert my legal (and human) rights and win some compensation that I might actually need if I’m out of work… it’s a tough one.

What would you do? I’m sort of wondering how important references are when job hunting in the States as well – I know that in some countries people are getting scared to give proper references as if they say something negative they might get sued. Any advice to give? In my country we’re not very litigous so the idea of taking someone to court is pretty major for me (and I do know it can reflect badly on your job hunting in the future as well as you’re seen as a trouble maker if you do it) but the reality is my career could be very negatively impacted by this… augh the dilema. And as a Christian what is right to do? Hmm. I think I’ll just sit tight for now, pray about it and see how things play out.

In other news, I am totally sick of rain and completely ready for summer (or Spring sunshine at least) it feels like it’s rained everyday for months. From drought to this – what about a happy medium?

Hair do….

On a lighter note I had a friend come and do my hair last night… I’m on such a tight budget and trying to grow my hair that it’s a huge blessing to have someone come do my hair for cheap (or for free like last night… thanks Matt!). I need to get me some straightners too… even though I have straight hair it does look so much funkier straightened…  Here is a pic, I have to admit it’s a bit of an effort to make myself look halfway decent at the moment.

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Trust

Trusting God. Easy to say… so much harder to do.

My meeting at work yesterday went well and as a result I am going to be taking a month off work to relax. Which I am soooooooo excited about. I’m planning my walks on the beach already! But the flipside is, work can’t keep my job open. We’re on contract and we only get paid and retain the contract if we’re performing. Which we’re not, after me being a vegetable for the last three months.

It was a tough meeting and I was glad to have the OT there to discuss things with my work and I know I have to be practical, but it’s really hard to sit there and effectively give up your job when there is a part of you that thinks you could just try harder and work harder (like soldiering on when you have the flu) and you’ll be fine. That part of me is losing to the voice of reason that is saying I need to get better and rest is the only what that is going to happen though I have to say.

While I was sitting there all I could think was that I’m just going to have to trust God. He knows the big picture and will look after me. I’m praying that they find someone perfect who only wants the role for a short amount of time on contract… but that is probably going to be unlikely. It’s just so hard that we don’t know how long it will take for me to be better and it’s too hard to find someone on contract and not be able to tell them how long the job will be for. Plus my skills are actually a bit unusual and there aren’t that many people around like me. Which is good for me I guess, but not good for my manager.

Hopefully I’ll have a great testimony to report in a few months time…. I’ll keep you posted.

I don’t really know what to say

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,24212817-5006301,00.html

I just found out this morning from a friend who attends Planetshakers that Mike Gugglielmucci’s battle with cancer was not a battle at all… he never had it!

I’m pretty shocked actually, I (and so many others) have been praying for him for the last two years and I even posted about his song “Healer” on my site recently. We’ve been singing this song a lot lately and I think it hurts all the more as I’ve often thought about him and his battle when I’ve been singing it and tried to encourage myself that if he has faith, then I should have faith.

I can only assume that he does indeed have an illness and perhaps one that he didn’t want to be open about so I really feel for his family and for him too. It must have been totally exhausting to lie all this time. I really hope that the media go easy on his family, in particular Danny (his father) who is in many leadership positions in the Australian and NZ Church. And I most of all pray that good comes out of all of this.

Also, I just need to add that over the last two years I’ve heard about him getting out and about and organising rallies, doing things in the ‘Kingdom’ when he was so sick and I felt just a teeny bit condemned that I wasn’t out there doing more when I was not nearly as bad as him (also I remember wondering how he had the energy if he was fighting terminal cancer). I really feel sorry for people who actually do have cancer who may have felt bad that they weren’t doing more when they actually very sick and needing to recover.

Ramblings

I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately as my laptop is taking a holiday in Australia to get fixed. Hopefully I will see it again soon as a new one is definitely not in the budget at the moment…. but I miss my little online world too.

So what’s happening with me? Well, I have plateued with my weight loss… possibly due to the naughty reintroduction of refined sugar into my diet. Will get back on track I promise, especially now I have fancy new scales that tell me my body fat percentage when I step on them. They are pretty cool and I figure it will help when I gain muscle mass and get heavier.

The ten servings of fruit and veg is proving a bit hard. But I do feel fantastic if I have about 8. I just don’t think it’s good (especially in the depths of winter) to eat that much fruit and I’m not a fan of kiwifruit which is pretty much the only in season fruit at the moment. The witches brew from the naturopath may have just worked as my sleeping is a lot better since I went on it.

Currently I’m wondering if my boy is going to get flooded out in Florida… he seems to be okay so far other than losing power at his office today. I’m also wondering if I should ever move out to a place like that… alligators, hurricanes, goodness knows what other creepy-crawlies…. NZ doesn’t have snakes or poisonous spiders or anything gross, we just have the occassional earthquake but there hasn’t been a big one for a while.

Though, it has been raining almost every day lately and it’s snowing down south so there are pretty bitter southerly winds at the moment. I’m OVER winter! So maybe moving somewhere warmer wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.

Oh and I seem to be surrounded by engagements at the moment. Two friends got engaged in Orlando a few weeks ago – they had a two week trip around the States and everyone was excitedly asking how he proposed to her (there were flights over the Grand Canyon on the trip which would have been ideal) but he just did it on the last morning when they were packing their suitcases and grumpy in the hotel. Ah, the romance! Another friend has just told me he’s going to propose to his girlfriend on the mountains skiing next weekend so that’ll be cool too. But I have to keep that secret squirrel so I’m only sharing it on my blog of course…

I never thought I’d have one of those summers where everyone I know gets married all at once, but I think next year is shaping up to be that year. Another couple of friends seem to be very close to getting engaged too and you never know, I might just have a wedding of my own as well… Actually, if I do I’ll probably beat a few people to the alter. I’m just hoping that they all give me tons of notice for ceremonies otherwise I’ll probably miss them all.

On the brain injury front, I’m finally having the Occupational Therapist come in to see me very shortly and hopefully she’ll convince my boss that I’m not depressed, it’s just a brain injury! Yeah, my boss is lovely, but she doesn’t get it! And I start with 90 mins of free housecleaning a week soon too, that is seriously the best thing to come out of this accident!

Ideas

Somehow, I have managed to think up an idea for an online business in the last week or so (don’t ask me how when I forget what day of the week it is sometimes) and am having lunch with a contact who has some great ideas for me. I don’t know when I’ll have the brain power to totally get into it but I think I might start the wheels in motion anyway, as if I can start getting some income generated that I’m responsible for it could be good. Especially if a move to the States is imminent, it would be great to have something to keep me busy and bring in a bit of cash if there is a period I’m out of full time employment.

Has anyone else set up a web-based business and any tips for me? I think the first thing I need to do is set up the website… any tips would be greatly appreciated….

My new LBD

I just wanted to show off my new bargain - $30 Marcs little black dress. I cut my head off the photo as I didn’t have makeup on and was having a bad hair day! I got it through a lady that contracts with us here, she’s an image consultant and she was selling a bunch of her clients unwanted stuff off. Great recycling if you ask me!