Summer in the city

It’s been a lovely hot summer’s weekend here and rather than let it go to waste I headed out and explored and took some photos this weekend that I of course had to share with you and make you jealous if you’re in a colder part of the world right now….

Here is the view back to the city from the ferry,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over in Devonport the Pohutakawa trees were starting to bloom. They’re also known as the NZ Christmas tree as the crimson flowers come out in December and are really quite beautiful around the coastline in my part of the country.

Historic Devonport town…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cute little cottages

Back in the city the yacht in the Viaduct wishes us Merry Christmas

 

Yachts and luxury apartments in the Viaduct (the America’s Cup village when we hosted it)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t you wish you could afford that?

Jumping the gun

A post over at Kara’s (my only kiwi blogging ‘friend’) has gotten me thinking about dating and marriage and how to play the ‘game’. She’s been involved in a long distance relationship with a guy in Sydney for number of weeks now and has been pretty suprised that so many people are mentally planning her wedding to someone she’s actually only spent ten days with in person. Lately, I’ve also been noticing a lot of people put pressure on me in the relationship area and I sort of wonder how some of these women (and, yes it is ALWAYS women) actually managed to land men themselves.

What do I mean? Well, I’ll start with when I first got back from Florida and was blissfully besotted with my boy after ten days together and I called a girlfriend who actually hadn’t known that I’d gone over (I kept it a bit quiet just in case it didn’t work out) and do you know what the first thing out of her mouth was? Not are you compatible or did you like the States or anything like that… no she asked “but how can you move so far away, what happens when you have babies and you don’t have your family support”. Nice, so lets jump right over marriage and just go straight to when we have children (which I’m not even sure I can produce) and the imagined difficulties.

Since the accident J is constantly referred to as my ‘partner’ by medical professionals, friends and random strangers. Just exactly how is someone my partner (in life?) when we don’t even live in the same country and never have and we haven’t seen each other for months? Maybe boyfriend sounds juevenille for a thirty-one year old woman, but I sort of like it as I haven’t had one for a while.

Quite a few people also think the answer to my current jobless status is to jump on a plane and go to Florida and let J look after me (actually guys seem to think that as well as girls) which of course would mean I miss out on all the support, cash and rehab I get in the accident compensation system here and not to mention 0 I can’t work in the US as I don’t have a Green Card. Yeah, that would be smart and it would probably just put a huge strain on our relationship as moving countries is hard enough without a head injury as well.

And if people (well those without a Y chromosone) aren’t asking where on earth (literally) we’re going to have the wedding, then they’re fantasising about how cute our little caramel babies will be. When you’re involved with a darker guy and you have my complexion that seems to be the first thing anyone thinks of. No, I lie… the dirtier people seem to come up with cruder stuff but I don’t really want to write about that on my blog!

Lucky for me J is far more clucky and wedding inclined that I am so he’s the one who’s bought most of this stuff up first before anyone else has and we’ve had some huge conversations about all of this. But still, if he was younger and a bit more commitment shy do you really think it would be helpful for me to be agonisng over weddings and babies constantly?

What really got me wondering how some women EVER land a man is conversations I’ve had about the support I get from J etc after the accident, especially in light of my family being a little bit on the crap side. Quite a few married girlfriends have said “you’re so lucky to have him and the timing is great” or something along those lines in recent weeks. Which I sort of think too, cautiously. But you know what? I just don’t ‘have’ him yet and going to him only for my emotional support hasn’t been such a good idea. He does have a bit of an idea that I’m a lot worse than I really am and quite frankly marriages break up from brain injuries all the time, let alone dating relationships so I wouldn’t want to count any chickens or start picking out china just yet.

Maybe its just that these people who hearing wedding bells on your first date got married young and in a simpler time so they don’t really know how hard it can be? To me dating and marriage just doesn’t feel that straight forward and the older you get the more complicated things become. And, I really just want to live in the moment anyway. J is out in 2 weeks time and my life could start to change drastically after that so I don’t want to waste what could be my last few months in NZ worrying about who would baby sit my future mythological children.

New Zealand English

This is perhaps the best guide I have ever seen to understanding Kiwis. Trust me, it will come in handy if you ever meet me in person or for watching episodes of Flight of the Choncords. Please do click on the link and have a look!

 

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A few confessions….

Even though I’ve lived in NZ most of my life sometimes I feel like I’m not really a kiwi and any moment the Department of Internal Affairs is going to come to my house and kick me out of the country. I was thinking about it today a bit more as I ponder whether I will actually move overseas next year and whether I’ll feel more at home somewhere else.

Why you may ask? Well let me tell you…

Firstly, I have never gotten around to watching the third Lord of the Rings movie. And I lived in Wellington when it premiered and even went to the red carpet event and saw all the stars. Yet I couldn’t be bothered going to the movie… I think it was just so long and I was shift working when it came out and it’s been so long now it feels silly to watch it. Some of my friends are even extras in it. Oops.

Secondly, I’m lactose intolerant and I come from one of the world’s major dairy producing countries. Butter and cheese are almost a religion here (well they were until the prices went up drastically in the last year). Some dairy farming type people take it as a personal insult if I say I don’t eat dairy, I have to be careful!

Thirdly and probably most importantly is that I don’t like rugby. Actually I pretty much am bored by it and don’t agree with the level of violence in the game, as well as the fact that domestic violence soars here every time there is a major All Black game also disgusts me. Whether we win or lose, it seems to be fun for some men to go home and beat up their missus.  And rugby is our national religion. Seriously. The country does go into mourning when the All Blacks lose, though they lose quite a lot these days so I think people are getting used to it. I like not being a fan as it makes it easy to get restaurant reservations and the like when big matches are on!

I also constantly get told that I’m not a typical kiwi by other immigrants – I’m apparently far more open and friendly than most. We’re a pretty tough bunch to crack and most people find it takes years to make good friends. I’ve moved around the country enough to testify to that as well and I’m from here.

Hmm, so does that mean I’ll fit in over in the States? I’m not sure yet but I’m working on it. I know I will struggle with the confrontation levels that are normal in the US (and probably Australia too) but not really part of our culture here. We are a nation of back stabbers I suspect… and we shy away from heated discussions as much as we can. My sense of humour is probably a bit too British at times (was raised on British comedy by my parents) and I’m sure I’m a bit dry for some cultures. Politically I have some different views of course, being raised in the strange government culture that has been NZ in my lifetime – Social Democracy in the 1970s to early 80s with everything very controlled, 1984 and the swing to the far right and the drastic social change that came with it, the last nine years of a lefty-leaning government… all very different to many other countries. Being Christian and being in the minority here has also shaped me and my views and I sort of like that.

 The one thing I’ve enjoyed when I’ve lived overseas before though is that there is always a certain feeling of being an outsider (even in Australia, where I mostly blended in once I mastered the accent) and to some extent it’s an ok feeling as you expect not to feel totally comfortable. Feeling like an outsider in your own country is a lot harder. And I really don’t think that feeling like an outsider is a bad thing for anyone…. especially Christians as it gives you a lot more insight sometimes.

Frustration and moving forward….

Well, I’ve hit a point – six months exactly after the accident – that I’ve had enough and I just want to get better. I’m praying and asking other people to pray, I’m drawing closer to God, I’m lifting my faith, I’m thinking positive. And while it’s frustrating that sometimes things aren’t always going to plan I’m feeling like there is light at the end of the tunnel mostly. This is only a mild brain injury. I, statistically speaking, should get a lot better real soon.

On the note of thinking positive, I’m going to push myself a bit harder too and see how I go. My friend who just had the baby is begging me to come down and stay this weekend and I’m going to go. I will probably just cook and clean and try to play with the two year old a bit, but I think she’s freaking out because her partner works on an oil rig and he has to go away for seven days. Then I’ve got a few days to recover before the Kylie concert (though I’m not really sure I still want to go, but again I’m pushing myself) and then I have a certain visitor from the States arriving.

Thing have been a little shaky with us, but I’m just hoping and praying that we can last long enough to enjoy some nice quality time together and remind ourselves why we like each other in the first place. Really, I don’t blame him in some ways. I think plenty of lesser people would have bailed long ago, but it hurts just a bit. I’m also really trying not to make it all about me…. think of him….. be reasonable….

On another note, if you can pray for my friend Mel who has a golf ball size lump in her stomach. The doctors don’t know what it is. Thanks!!!

My new godson

Lukas Benjamin, or boy #2 as his father just called him arrived last night in Taranaki and I’m a proud Auntie/godmother to be. Isn’t he so tiny? And I love this picture of his big brother (who is the cutest little boy ever) whom I’m sure is thinking “what the hell just happened to my nice cosy life and who is this little intruder” going by that facial expression! Can’t wait to get down and see them… why do they have to live five hours away?

 

Big brother Mathias and baby Lukas

I really am dizzy

Because I am blonde I often joke that I’m dizzy… but I had my blood pressure taken today at the gym and it’s 101/60. No wonder I get light-headed and possibly that is why I’ve been really nauseous lately? I don’t really want high blood pressure either, but this feels a bit ridiculous.

Are we really this dumb?

When I was out walking yesterday I was listening to our National (Government owned) radio station and the panel were discussing the plans to scrap the teaching of Shakespeare in our schools! I’m almost reluctant to write about it as I know it’s going to make NZ’s schooling system sound pretty bad, but it actually feels pretty personal to me so I think I must! Why are they doing this? Because they think that too many students struggle with it so it’s not worth teaching and they’d be better to learn more practical things and it’s not relevant to a teenager’s world. Shakespeare is full of wonderful references to sex and love all sorts of other crude things so I think I really have to disagree with their opinion on that.

I went to public schools and I was a pretty gifted English student (though please don’t judge my poor grammar and spelling these days) so when I changed schools in my final year and had a wonderful English teacher who opened up the world of poetry, literature and Shakespeare to me, I was in heaven. My English education up to that point was not that great…. my previous school subscribed to the thinking that poetry and the like was too difficult for the average student and so I spent four years at high school pretty bored (we spend five years at high school here, I’m not just stupid). But my final year at school…. oh that was a different story! We studied ‘Othello’, Janet Frame’s – ‘Owl’s do Cry’ (incredible book, almost like poetry to read) and many other books that I can’t quite remember and I thrived on it all.

What I do know is that ‘Othello’ was incredibly relevant to my teenage life – the O J Simpson trial was on at the same time and there seemed to be a more than a few parallels and the Sonnets satisfy more than enough teenage girl romanticism.

Mrs Hessell (my teacher that year) further fueled my life long love of reading and theatre, which led me to do a few papers in English Lit at University as well. It was relevant to my life and it helped me enjoy living and travelling in the UK so much more while I was there. It makes me so angry to see what they are doing to our once very good schooling system and I hope that teachers win the battle on this one. It seems they are doing their best to rewared academic mediocrity.

By the way I think my favourite reference to sex in Shakespeare is “the beast with two backs”. What’s your favourite?

Okay, I get it God…

I need to trust you more…. yeah, yeah… Gosh it’s all about putting once step in front of the other and trusting for me this week that’s for sure. Just when I think I’m doing ok and I can cope with the little world around me I get news that not one, but two of my flatmates are moving out right on Christmas. One just doesn’t want to pay rent while she’s on holiday (but has no issue obviously with me having to cover an empty room and potentially downgrading my own holiday plans considerably! Yeah, I’m looking for slightly older and more mature flatmates this time!

So I’m on the hunt for two (or one at least for now) great girls to live with… I think it feels right to stay (and I really want to pick the tomatoes I’ve planted which won’t be ready til January)  and I really just want to enjoy my holiday with my boy when he’s here as much as I can without stressing out too much. So praying that someone great walks through my door in the next week…. please God! It’s a little bit scary flatmate hunting when you have a brain injury so I’m praying about what to say to someone (it will obviously need to come up that I’m not working and that ragey parties are not the go) and hoping for a nice person who can empathise.

Otherwise, I feel like I’m trucking along pretty ok. Apparently I’m in a different place to where I was even a month ago… so I feel like maybe it won’t be so long before I’m almost better.

Food Questions

After seeing this on Nichole’s blog I thought I’d answer it as well….

1. Favorite milk? Soy. Lactose intolerant so anything else is a disaster!

2. What are the top 3 dishes/recipes you are planning to cook this season?

I actually really want to make a gingerbread house as I’ve never done it before and no one really does them here so I might look clever if I do. I’d love to have roast leg of lamb for Christmas dinner as it seems so much simpler than turkey and baby new potatoes and asparagus. And try to master a Pavlova as well – classic Kiwi/Aussie dessert.

3. Choice of topping for popcorn? Um, don’t really eat it, but salt and butter are all I know really.

4. Most disastrous recipe/meal failure? Most recent – I went out for several hours last week and left pumpkin steaming on the stove. Luckily it just charred the pot and didn’t burn the house down.

5. Favorite pickled item? Ginger, with sushi…. yum.

6. How do you organise your recipes? Not very well, I have a folder and some clear files… and stuff saved to my computer, it is one of my projects I need to do while off work.

7. Compost, trash, or garbage disposal? I really should compost now I have a garden…. but trash and garbage disposal (that felt weird writing – I’d say rubbish not trash and waste not garbage actually).

8. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only ring 3 foods, what would they be? (Don’t worry about how you’ll cook them.) Well I’d hope the island had tropical fruit and coconuts… but I just don’t think I could pin anything down to just three items.

9. Fondest food memory from childhood? Helping mum with roasts, back when lamb was cheap enough to eat regularly. She’d let me make the gravy, pick mint for the mint sauce and I’d usually get the shank to eat which was delicious. I don’t think you even get shanks with roasts now…

10. Favorite ice cream? Any kind of fruit gelato… all I  can handle

11. Most loved kitchen appliance? Food processor.

12. Spice/herb you would die without? Tumeric might be it at the moment, I seem to use it a lot.

13. Cookbook you have owned for the longest time? I actually have a book from 1984 that I bought on sale when I was like 11 I think… it’s sort of cool to look at as it records an era that seems long gone – was written by Alison Holst who is a legendary cooking writer and presenter in NZ.

14. Favorite flavor of jam/jelly? I’m not that fussy, if it’s homemade. Mum’s strawberry jam is good though.

15. Favorite recipe to serve to an omni (?) friend? Hmmm, would depend on the person. I’d probably make casserole in winter or curry of some sort. Something you can prepare ahead and then relax. I also like chocolate fondue with fruit and marshmellows.

16. Do you eat tofu? Yep, eat it all the time. Actually I had some in a Korean soup for dinner tonight.

17. Favorite meal to cook (or time of day to cook)? I’m loving cooking at 4.30pm at the moment…. have a quiet house and feels nice to be so organised. I don’t mind though as long as I’m focussed.

18. What is sitting on top of your refrigerator? A slow cooker

19. Name three items in your freezer without looking. Frozen mixed veges, big loaf of bread, single serve of lamb casserole, it’s getting a bit bare.

20. What’s on your grocery list? Soy milk, veges (totally out), chicken

21. Favorite grocery store? Moore Wilsons in Wellington…. I miss it so much.

22. Name a recipe you’d love to try, but haven’t yet. Dairy free icecream and then meringues with the leftover egg whites.

23. Food blog you read most. Gluten Free Girl

 

24. Favorite chocolate? Green and Blacks. As long as it’s dark I don’t mind. I like my chocolate like my men (I love being able to say that!!)

25. Most extravagant food item purchased recently? Jar of vanilla seeds

26. What vegetables do you enjoy the most? So many, fresh broad beans (after years of hating them as a child I love them now), asparagus (need to buy some as the season is almost over), baby potatoes, kumara (NZ sweet potato)….. any really! I grew up with a keen gardener in a house that you were expected to clear your plate at dinner.