Somehow, after all my whingeing and moaning about man droughts in the last few years, the tide seems to be turning just a little in my life at the moment. Actually, there are just a few too many guys around for me to keep track of really with my brain not working at full capacity. It’s become so apparent, that I actually had my lovely surrogate mum, Linda up about it on Monday as I became suspicious that she’d been praying for me and specifically for men in my life. Guilty as charged… isn’t that sort of cool though that God will prove to you that it’s not so unusual to be 32 (well on Monday I’m 32) and single and He will provide? I’ve been a bit loath to write too much on here about my love life (or lack thereof) but that’s sort of how this blog started out so I figure I should share a bit of what’s happening. Things with Florida are looking pretty impossible at the moment and I’ve really just given it to God. We haven’t really ended things yet it’s drifted since my trip out there (where we argued quite a lot to be honest), but given that I won’t be able (actually I’m not allowed to, it’s a strange feeling but I want the money and support so I have to agree to it) to leave the country again for quite a while I figure it’s also not worth sitting around and waiting for either. Who knows, in six months things might be different. But I do feel that at my age not at the least keeping my options open was a silly thing. You Americans probably get this way more than kiwis would, I think you have a much healthier attitude towards dating anyway. There is other stuff I could say here, but I won’t out of respect for the other party involved.
One of the hardest things for me was the realisation in April that marriage, etc etc might not be on the cards anytime soon, after I’d spent much of last year actually talking about that stuff very seriously with J. Two days before I met him I actually felt challenged to pray for a husband and ask God to provide, which was actually a huge step for me. I’d been pretty happy single up til about then, as much as that might seem strange to other Christian girls who probably pray for husbands at the age of 18. But, I’ve worked through this mostly in the last little while, firstly I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time to wallow in self-pity at all. It’s amazing how actually having a focus beyond ourselves is good for us. And secondly, I’ve had rather timely reminders that the grass isn’t always greener, in actual fact the paddock on the other side of the fence is often drought stricken and diseased and we shouldn’t be pining to jump the fence! Several close friends are going through marriage difficulties and divorces at the moment and it’s been a massive reminder to me to not be jealous. Lying awake all night waiting for your husband to come home, not being able to sleep, finding text messages from another woman on his phone of an intimate nature – give me single life any day thanks.
So where are all the men in my life? Well, I have to say there is nothing serious happening (just in case any reads this who shouldn’t read this…) but there have been more offers of dates in the last few weeks than I’ve had in a long time. I went out for a drink with a lovely guy, whom I shall call ‘hot nurse’ just cos I think it’s funny to say, and it was a lovely time with great conversation about all sorts of random things. We’re trying to meet up again after a busy few weeks, probably this weekend and I’m actually excited. Mainly because he is hot (I totally checked him out the first time I met him and was pretty pleased when he asked for my number the next day) and also because he’s really interesting. And he does go to church too, not the same denomination as I do, but it could be workable. I’ve decided that dating is such a great way to get to know more about the world and yourself as well and I think I feel really comfortable with meeting for a drink or coffee or whatever and keeping things very casual, with no talk of sex or relationships or marriage too soon.
There are other guys around as well at the moment, I briefly registered myself on a Christian dating site (an international one too) and got inundated with messages. There were a few strange ones (that’s definitely another post for another day) but some rather sweet guys too and actually a few in NZ. I think I registered on there just to see who was around, reassure myself that being single and my age for a guy is not that unusual and give me hope that good, interesting Christian men do exist. It was massively reassuring I can tell you, even just to know there are men out there that I could meet one day in real life. The only problem is with the brain injury, I found it really hard to keep track of all the emails that started piling in, so I need to actually track a few of the guys down and apologise as I know I’ve forgotten about a few.
Aside from internet dating, there have also been a few old flames making contact lately too… I’m not really sure what I think about one of them, but we did basically grow up on the same farm so I’d love to have coffee or something and catch up. I’m not really sure at all where his head is at as he’s just had a marriage break up, but I’m sure it’ll be nice to see him, cautiously. And there is a guy in England that I was friends with for years through University and neither of us had the courage to make a move until just before he went away to play rugby in the UK nine years ago. He still hints about what would have happened if he hadn’t left NZ and apparently his mum still talks about me – we’d met a few times and obviously I made a good impression (I never think mums would like me, but it seems that I do make a good impression – is it my child bearing hips or my cooking skills?). I actually asked him though, why he never made a move on me sooner – and he replied that he went 60% of the way and I should have gone 40%. Sigh, kiwi men! A girl shouldn’t have to go 40%!
So, who knows if any of these men are real options, but I have to say it’s nice to have a little attention anyway and make the most of been single while I can.
